Category: Musings On…

Recovery and rebirth

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve published anything here, and I am finally taking the leap to choose faith over fear and to integrate all sides of my life into one.

Letters for My Lovers, at its inception, was a way for me to share my writing and feel a little less alone in the world at a time when I was feeling a crushing sense of isolation and loss. I was alienated from myself in ways that I could barely understand, and sharing this secretive part of my life was a source of great healing and joy for me. It made me feel alive and part of a community of writers and poets who, like me, had something to share with the world.

From the very beginning, my pen name was fraught with contradictions I knew would eventually catch up to me. Although I shared vulnerable things with the world, doing it behind the guise of an erotic, empowered “sex-witch” persona meant that I could hide behind something familiar. Lilith was always my armour, the part of me that kept me safe from having to show my sensitive gooey core and acknowledge the depths of my own humanity.

I held onto this blog like a blankie, and through all my trials and tribulations, I couldn’t let it go because I knew someday I would want to publish the poems I’d written here under my real name.

In 2023, my life shifted in the most unexpected way. My long-time relationship had an implosion of sorts, and within a week of that, I learned through a random DNA test that the man who had raised me wasn’t my biological father. I won’t go into too many details, but needless to say, my life (which was already rife with trauma) got turned upside down overnight. Shortly thereafter, I checked myself into an addiction treatment centre and began my journey of recovery from active addiction and refocusing my energies on healing the complex trauma that has always inhabited me.

In the years since, I’ve grown into a version of myself that feels closer to home than anything I’ve experienced before. I’m living a life filled with authenticity, in accordance with my values and principles, and I work hard every day to appreciate the privilege of rebuilding myself as a human being and of living my passions.

I have written countless poems since I last published anything here, and am working on figuring out how to keep these multiple sides of myself out and available. There will most likely be changes to this site in the coming months. I have yet to figure out whether to retire Lilith completely and begin publishing under my real name, or keep my poetry linked to her, since she is an essence of me, but I am overjoyed to be in a position where I’m no longer afraid to integrate Lilith into who I am today and continue to share my poetry with the world.

More to come soon, but in the meantime, you can learn a bit more about me here.

Eager to meet you all again. ❤

Xo – Tashi

Strange Times

Dear readers,

No matter where you may be in the world, chances are, we can currently relate to each other’s feelings.

Let’s be blunt: this shit is scary. I can personally admit that having a global pandemic, with the rampant fear-mongering and misinformation that has accompanied it, is, for many many reasons, as close to my living nightmare as any situation could get.

The world is grinding to a halt, and hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people will die worldwide. Millions of people will lose their jobs, and world economies as we know them may very well collapse. The list goes on… Many things are going to change, and the truth is that we don’t really know what the post-pandemic world is going to look like; many people have predictions, some more realistic than others, but right now we’re helplessly floating around in the giant sea of the unknown, and I know many of us feel totally and utterly lost.

I can’t speak for what will change in the upcoming months and years, but I can surmise that one very real thing won’t change: Us. Humans, living, breathing members of the Homo sapiens sapiens species. The inherent elements that bind us together as a species and have kept our societies running since the dawn of our era: love, compassion, understanding, passion, curiosity, solidarity, and all them incredible things that make us so unique.

We will continue loving one another, appreciating the little things in life, like the ring of someone’s laughter in our ears, the warmth that we feel in another’s smile, the burning desire when we hold our lover close. We will continue inspiring one another to keep on keeping on, to continue creating and appreciating art, music, creativity in whatever form it takes on for you. We will continue being present for those who matter the most in our lives, because that’s what life is really about, love and friendship, and partnership, and appreciation, and sharing all of those incredible things we so often struggle to put into words.

I, for one, will keep on creating and sharing my poetry and stories with the world because it’s my way of staying sane and keeping my life moving forward without giving into the total and utter panic that washes over me in waves.

You are not alone, we are not alone. We can weather this storm together, as societies, and as a species, and come out wiser on the other side. So let’s all take a moment to appreciate the little things and share some love (within reasonable social distancing measures, of course 😉).

And if you would like me to write a poem about a specific topic, or have a fun writing exercise you’d like to try with me, please shoot me an email at info@lilithember.com, and I will be happy to oblige. I will be writing from the comfort of my Love Nest, featured as the image of this article.

In love, lust, and solidarity,

Lilith. 🖤

On Writing – A word from Lilith

After a bit of an absence, I am back to try out a new format.

Prior to my month-long writing hiatus, I had been putting a lot of pressure on myself to post regularly and be active on social media to try and promote what I was writing. I was crippled, in a way, by what many people would refer to as FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). “If I don’t spend time building a following on Twitter, and interacting with the other members of the #writingcommunity, I’m never going to be part of it.”

Well, the truth is, that doesn’t work for me. I loathe social media, and I’m not a natural at it. I believe it reflects the worst of what we are in many cases: vain, sad little creatures, disconnected from our communities and the things that matter, and desperate for validation that is substanceless (like a bag of chips: delicious while you’re eating it, but has zero benefits for your body and leaves you hungry for more 10 minutes later). Personally, trying to maintain the regularity needed to push a following on social comes at the detriment of my mental wellbeing (which then can quickly cause me to spiral and stop taking care of myself on a physical level, like I normally would), which just doesn’t work.

So, I’ve decided to no longer care who reads what I publish, or whether I get likes or shares. It was never why I started publishing my works online in the first place, and I’ll be damned if my social media stress puts me in a position where I’d rather walk away from writing than simply periodically publish something because I’ve felt inspired and taken the time to write something out.

I’m also going to start writing to a new section of my site called “Musings On…”, which are going to be taking on a more traditional blog post (or article format). I am a complex individual, with lots of experiences and things to share with the world beyond just my poetry, and I hope that anyone who feels they can relate to what I choose to write about will find value in my thoughts.

Eternally yours,

Lilith.