What is it, about being a woman
that drives us, to feel lust
nay, neediness, longing, expectations
of the opposite sex
to WANT, to need, to succumb
to loving us?
It’s like taking the first hit;
wanting every moment
to inevitably feel like the next.
A drug of the heart, a survivalist’s wet dream,
suddenly the nightmare of the other.
I loathe the void I’ve created
within the absence you’ve brought;
the coward who parades around
as a hearty lion, navy suit astounding
the driver of slumber long deceased
brought back to life in a dusty dream.
Nothing is everything,
it all resonates like bass hitting a temple
wishing for change, but unwilling to understand;
the dance slowly dies
as the reality of one love lost
bites the dust, of poetic abstinence.
Heed a lonely cry, in the distance
a single ring on a finger
symbolism of something so untrue
it might as well be dead.
I’ll die too young
to see the fruition of your honesty.
Life is crisp in the fall;
transformative times of leaves and tea
a cozy mess of understanding and love
where blue skies meet orange ents
and wasps formerly flew up mountains.
The greenery seems to take on
a hue of gold and hydromel,
beckoning the old gods to come forth
and sip from her offerings.
Seasonal fruits lose their passion
and brutish cucurbits resurface in troves
eager to potage their way
into hungry city-dweller’s lives.
From the inside of my glass cage,
nothing seems all that different:
the sun’s rays hit me in all the same places
but when the doors open again,
the wind will no longer be warm.
An absence of the mind,
brings thoughtful possessions
of dancing tongues
to a staggering halt
at the foot of a mountain.
A mountain of emotions,
so steep and slippery and tall
one might as well be swallowing soap
and trying to fly upwards
floating atop bubbles of bile.
An influence of the Universe,
vast and fearless in her knowledge
pushes Lilith to move on, evermore
beyond understanding and will,
she cries and begs it all to stop.
A peaceful anguish in knowing nothing,
desperately searching for meaning
in the heart ache and the projection
of loved ones gone and forgotten,
Lilith stands alone, once more, forever.
I wish I could hold in my hands,
your incandescent insecurities
and use them to fuel your fire.
Oh, what a sight…
Brightly consuming everything
until you emerge from the ashes,
— Radiant —
Yet I feel you slipping
melting through my fingers
down a path, I cannot follow…
A husk of who you appeared to be
anger sketched in steel
between the lines
of your beautiful face,
caught in a frenzy of fear
longing always to run
until there’s nowhere left to go.
I cry out!
The wind whistles in your hair
as part of me flies to catch up.
A little bird of love,
heart of gold and periwinkle,
who’ll follow you forever
no matter where you end up.
NB: Originally written in November 2018.
© 2018 Lilith Ember All Rights Reserved